The following questions and answers were found in standardized high school graduation exam:
Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.
Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death.
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow.
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'.
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome, Italy.
Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.
Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas.
Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A. Hands that judicious can be as soft as your face.
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.